she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
