oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
