i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
