you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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