if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
