Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
