we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
