She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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