I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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