of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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