look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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