I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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