it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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