hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
