The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
