If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
