idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
