I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
