Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
