i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
