I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
