this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
