I'm really into asian looking animals
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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