yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
