After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Green mimosas i think yes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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