What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize