the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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