i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
