i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
