Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
