you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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