it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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