That's intense
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
