i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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