I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
