She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We need a shit load of segways right now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
