We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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