he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
