Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
