There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
