bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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