i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
