i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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