Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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