Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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