No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize