I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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