my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize