We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His hands were made for my vagina.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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