I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
this will be a night to untag.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
