No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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