"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
