I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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