3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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