Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
